A Most Delectable Chili

People often ask me, "is chili a soup?" To which I reply, like a Talmudic scholar of old, "it is a question which I cannot easily answer."

I'm no Rabbi Gamliel, but the literature around chili suggests that it may be a soup. Some eat it with bread, some with rice, others pasta, others nothing. So is it only a soup if it is eaten with nothing? Perhaps. But for my first post, it is absolutely necessary that this soup is one I have intimate familiarity with.

This chili is a Mo' Soup For Jew original, truly a revelation when I first ingested it. Unlike most of the soups that will be reviewed on this site, this was cooked by yours truly. As I hate myself, I will make sure to go extremely hard on myself.

This chili is extremely good. I have failed many times in my life — with school, with friends, and with women (a sexy soup blog for another day), but this may have been one of my successes. Its rich texture flows off the very red of your lips as if it were the most delicious viscous sea water of the Caribbean. The consistency is just right, and like my foes (wine lovers and bloggers), this element is critical for my tasting enjoyment.

There are some people out there who say you should not eat meat. Well, let me tell you, these people are the reason why we live in a broken society. They have no class or sense of their role as human beings. If they came within an inch of the beautiful turkey I used to concoct this chili, I would scoff in their direction.

As a Jewish person (hence the very anti-anti-Semitic title "Mo' Soup For Jew"), I was forced to use kosher meat. Kosher meat often sucks, as my people believe that you should make life harder for yourself. That being said, it was acceptable, but this is why I will never marry a Jewish woman.

The rest was fairly straightforward. Canned tomatoes and beans. Who doesn't love them, folks? The spices: cumin (a favorite), cayenne, chili powder, paprika (a beautiful gift from the Magyars), and Trader Joe's chili lime powder. A fresh lime was also added. Top it off with some of the creamy, succulent, and viscous avocado tzatziki from Trader Joe's, and this was a heavenly meal.

I know, I know. What right do I have to be making chili? I'm not a Southerner. My expertise is with the beet farms of the Pale of Settlement. I have never had Skyline Chili. I've never even been to Cincinnati (Go Reds!). But I feel strongly about chili, more strongly than most. Perhaps, if more people cared about chili like yours truly, the world wouldn't be such a terrible place.

Rating: 8.4/10